What Do Your 20’s Look Like?

Twenty-seven years. That's the number of years I have spent on this earth wondering what in the world is going on. Who knew your 20's could literally be an amalgamation of chaos and peace. For my friends, their 20's look like the following: married with kids, married with no kids, engaged and happy, engaged and unhappy, single with dogs, single with cats, single and in graduate school, weaning health insurance, crippling debt, rent and grocery prices that require the sell of a vital organ, and the list goes on.

For me, my 20's include living with family, working from home, saving as much money as possible, traveling more, attempting a healthier lifestyle, and struggling to keep a cactus alive. One thing I have learned about my 20's is that it is okay to not be where I expected to be. When I was 20, I thought I would finish school by 24, own a condo on Wilshire Blvd, be a wealthy entertainment attorney turned famous filmmaker, and be engaged to the man of my dreams by 28. Well this thing called COVID-19 said "uh-huh, you thought miss thang" and totally threw its complete ass in my face and my plans.

Due to the pandemic and many other unfortunate career and life events, I experienced delay, after delay, after delay. Luckily for me, all hope was not lost, and I passed the bar exam. I think learning how to study what mattered and do so within 5 hours each weekday really helped. I also think hopping on a first class flight to Scottsdale, AZ the day after the exam helped as well. I survived the bar exam. What else could a girl want? Well, I know one thing a girl needed, and that was a job. The entire job hunting experience was daunting, but alas, I prevailed.

I am currently 27. I live at home and rely on my mother to travel like an influencer and drown myself in IV therapy. The bills are paid, and the coffee is made. I spend my time working, sewing, teaching part-time, attempting yoga classes, and hunting for places to rent.

In my 20's, I have learned that lots of self-exploration leads to an increase in self-worth. You have to let yourself learn and screw up multiple times. You have to be open minded and pivot at any given moment. You cannot have perfect life plans because something will always go in a different direction. You will fail and fail again. You will fail yourself a lot. Your will learn from the failure and then still fail again. Eventually, you will succeed, and, when you do succeed, it will be glorious. You will feel like Vera Wang after finally launching her iconic fashion brand at age 40. You will feel like Viola Davis when she got her big break into acting at age 43. You will feel like Tina Turner when the love of her life Erwin Bach married her at age 73. It may take time, but it will happen.

I am currently still the in the process of failing sometimes and figuring it out other times. This process is slow. I constantly feel stagnant and feel as if I should be much further in my life than I am. However, that's just it. It's supposed to look unclear. That is where the magic lies. It lies in not knowing, because when you don't have surety, you have to keep an open mind. You have to be open to opportunities you may never have thought would help you on your journey. Some days, the journey is scary and lonely. However, I personally continue to do whatever I can in my current position to proceed towards my goals. My goals and dreams have changed since I was 20, but that's the beauty of this process.

In the end, my biggest blessing is having an amazing support system. My family, my friends, and family friends that are basically family, are incredible. Everyday is doable because I know I have them. Whether a text, snapchat, instagram reel, facetime, or phone call, someone is always there. I appreciate these people more than they will ever know. They make my 20's feel like something beautiful and stable in a sea of chaos and confusion. I will be forever grateful for them. Going forward, I hope to one day look back on this part of my life and really appreciate it. It will make for a great chapter in my memoir. With that being said, I leave you with these words: A "no" is not "never". Stagnant does not mean the end. Exploration does not mean lost. Confusion eventually turns into clarity. And, growth is always happening.

From: Me

To: You