Feeling Behind in Life

This is a very prevalent and real topic that has dominated within the past few years. I have put off writing this blog post; however, I think many people can relate to this sentiment. When I was in my early 20s, I thought I would thrive in my career, be married, have 2-3 children, and live in a large home all by the age of 27. I am currently 27, and none of that has been achieved.

Some days I feel as though I am storing up for insanely amazing things to happen because I know I am destined for so much happiness, excitement, and peace. Other days, I feel completely lost, hopeless, and confused. I feel like I have lost that spark that once shined with hope. I sometimes wonder the following: What went wrong? Why did life take such a sharp turn? What did I do to end up here? What could I have done better? After such contemplations, I sometimes repeat the Jinx Monsoon mantra " water off a ducks back". I cannot change the past. I cannot control what is completely out of my control. I have to move forward. However, some days moving forward is absolutely exhausting. Staying positive is even more exhausting.

Many of us see people our age making more money than we can comprehend. They are traveling the world, working in their dream careers, buying their dream homes, cars, purses, hell, even dream dogs. They are finding love, getting engaged, getting married, and getting massive diamond rings. Furthermore, they are having children and building families. Many women are becoming stay at home moms that are living the soft life with beaucoups of shopping bags, groceries galore, Mima Xari strollers, fabulously clean houses, and endless amounts of matcha. I can't be anything but happy that these people beat the odds and obtained the world; but I also can't help but feel quite sad for myself and others who experienced setbacks.

Everyday, I have multiple people tell me how they feel behind in life. Many of them are stressed beyond belief because they feel immense pressure to hit really big milestones very quickly. It is even harder to hear my friends talk about how lost and hopeless they feel in life; however, I am in the trenches right with them. This is the part of life that I believe is one of the most difficult for young, capable and worthy people. This is the lull. This is the stagnancy. This is the part of life where everything is the same and external progress is far and few. This is the part of life where not much is really going on, and if it is going on, it's nothing immensely positive. This is the part of life where you have to bring up the most ancient tea because you have nothing new and exciting to bring to the table. This part of life is frustrating, angering, confusing, boring, lackluster, and annoying.

During this time, we don't think we achieve anything. However, I have learned that this is one of the biggest times in our lives where we grow so much as people. In my lull period, I have progressed lightyears in my mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical health. I have learned so much about myself and my desires. I feel as though I know myself more than I ever have before. I have started to express myself more and be more comfortable as an artsy, eccentric, animated, and unhinged individual. I have realized more of my future desires regarding my career, my love life, my desire to have a family of my own, and so on. I even opened up to the idea of raising a family overseas. I have learned that I am naturally peaceful, free spirited, and open minded. Years of external and internal hardships suppressed my true nature, but now, I am starting to feel more like myself.

As for the external parts of my life, I am not where I want to be. I am, however, grateful for what I have. I have food, shelter, clean water, a pretty great job, two bad ass degrees, growing savings, family, friends, and friends like family. I also have my health, my creativity, my growth, my spiritual journey, my dreams, my desires, my faith, and most importantly my life. While this time feels restricting, there is some freedom to be found. While this time is stressful and sad, there are still many things to be grateful for. One big thing I learned during this time is to be happy for those who are finally getting their chance. Even in the darkest of times, be happy for those who found the light. Because one day, you will make it, too. Every individual has a unique timeline that is perfectly curated for them. Today might bring confusion, but tomorrow could bring clarity.

I am writing this post not only for others but for myself. Sometimes, we need a reminder that in this very moment, we are enough. We are not behind; we on on time in our own personal timelines. This is something that takes time to grasp, comprehend, and eventually accept. I believe that all of us can achieve just about anything; we may just achieve it at different times. Time is your friend, but she sometimes responds within 3-5 business days... or years. I leave you with this one statement: you are right on time.

From: Me

To: You